CHAPTER TWELVE

The Monster Speaks

When you first gave me life, I was like a small baby. I could not speak, but I could smell, hear, taste, feel, and see. I was frightened by everything I saw around me. I tried to go to you for help, like a child goes to his father. I could not speak to you, so you did not know what I wanted. You ran away and left me, and I did not know why.

I was cold, so I put on one of your coats and went out into the dark night. I remember crying as I walked through the streets. When I reached the forest I was very tired so I lay down on the ground near a little stream.

I slept for a few hours and when I woke up, I was hungry and thirsty. I drank some water from the stream and ate some small fruits I found on the ground. For a month I lived in that forest. I watched the sun and moon in the sky. I listened to the beautiful sounds of the birds in the trees. I tried to make their sounds, but I could not. Instead, I could only make loud, ugly noises that frightened the animals. Soon I began to explore the area outside the forest. One night I found a fire that some people must have made. I liked the warm light, and I put my hand into the hot fire. Quickly, I pulled it back with a cry of pain. Then, I did not understand that fire burns you. I did not know why something that looked good could give so much pain. I stared at the things the people had used to make the fire. Soon I learned that they used wood. I found that nuts and roots tasted better if I cooked them in the fire before eating them. But fruits did not. Soon, I could not find any more food, and I knew I had to leave the forest. When I left the forest I found that there was a cold, white substance on the ground. This was snow, of course, but I did not know that yet. I only knew that it hurt my feet and made them cold. I walked for three days without food or sleep. One morning, I found a small house. I was so hungry and tired that I opened the door and went into the house immediately. An old man was sitting by a fire, cooking something. When he saw me, he ran out of the house, screaming loudly. I ate the man's food, then lay down on his bed and fell asleep.

When I woke up it was the middle of the day. I took some of the man's food and left the house. I did not want the man to be hungry, so I only took a little food.

After some hours of walking, I found a small village. I was interested in the nice looking houses, and the gardens with vegetables and fruit trees. I entered one of the houses, and when the women and children saw me, they ran away screaming, just like the old man I had seen in the morning. Soon everyone in the village heard the screams, and men ran out of their houses. They began to throw rocks and shout things at me. I did not understand what they said, but the stones hurt me and I knew the people were angry. Quickly I ran away from the village. In the evening, I found a small house that had a very small wooden building attached to it. I did not want to enter the house, because I knew the people would be afraid and might try to hurt me. However, I did go into the little wooden building. The place was so small that I could not stand up. I could only sit down inside it, because I am so large. But I did not mind. I was happy to have a place to sleep, after being outside for many nights. I also thought that people would not find me here. I found some straw to make a bed, and then fell asleep. The next morning, I looked outside and saw that there was an area for pigs and some water next to the house. I looked at the wall between the wooden building and the house, and I saw that there was a hole in the wall. When I looked through it, I saw a room inside the house. No one was in the room. Quickly and quietly, I left the wooden hut and went into the house. I needed to find something to eat. I found some bread and a cup, which I used to drink some water. I decided to live in the little wood place until someone made me leave it. This was much better than living outside, in the cold, dark forest.

The days passed. I learned that a family named De Lacey lived in the house. There was a young man named Felix, a pretty girl named Agatha, and their old, blind father. I did not know his name. This family was very poor, and Felix and Agatha had to work very hard to care for their father. Often, they would give their father their own food, so that he could eat. They had only a little milk from an old cow, and a few vegetables from their garden.

Even though they were poor, the family was happy and full of love and kindness. I could not take any more food from them; instead, I wanted to help them. I went out at night and looked for nuts and berries in the forest. I also cut wood for the family, using Felix's tools. When the family found these gifts, they were so happy that I, also, became happy. I was very surprised to see that the people used fire inside their house. They cooked with it and used it to fill the room with light. At night, Felix and Agatha used the fire's light to read to their blind father. The words they read were just like the words they spoke. I soon learned that they used things called "books" to read with. As the months passed, I taught myself to say their words. I wanted deeply to talk to these kind people. Maybe they would not mind how horrible I looked ... Oh, yes, Dr Frankenstein, I had learned just how ugly I was. I had seen my face in the water of the pond next to the family's house one day. Suddenly, I understood why everyone was afraid of me. One morning, a beautiful girl with long black hair came to the house. Felix greeted her happily, and I learned her name was Safie. Safie had come from a country called Turkey, and did not speak the same language as the De Lacey family. She was going to marry Felix. After Safie came, the family spent many hours teaching her to speak and read their language. Through the holes in the wall, I listened to them talk and learned to speak many of their words.

One day, when I was walking in the forest looking for fruits, I found a box that had some old books inside it. I used those books to teach myself to read.

I spent the winter and spring months happily. I was enjoying my simple life, and quietly watching the happy family. Because I had lived with them for so long and done things to help them, I felt connected to them, even if they did not know I was there. I was quickly learning to read and speak their language, too. But what good were these words, when I had no one to speak them with? Would I ever have friends? Would anyone ever look at me with love in his or her eyes? I did not think so. Even you, Victor Frankenstein ran away from me, and I thought of you as my father. As I thought about my lonely life more, I began to feel angry towards you.

You will remember I told you that on the first night of my life, I took one of your coats with me when I left your house. I found your notebook in the coat pocket. At first, I did not understand the words inside the notebook, because I could not read. But after I learned to read, I read all about your work and your thoughts before you began to create me. I learned how frightened you were when you saw my ugly body for the first time.

Frankenstein, why did you make me so ugly that even you hated me, and were afraid of me? Because of the way I look, I have always been alone. I hated the day you gave me life, and I hated you.

But when I thought of the kind family I watched, I did not feel so angry. I deeply wanted to believe that they would become my friends when I told them my story. They would not be afraid of my size or my face.

But even though I wanted to talk to them, a part of me did not want to show my face to them. I was afraid that they would run away in fear. By this time, I had lived in the little wooden house for one year. Finally, I decided to try and meet the family. I decided to try and enter their house when Felix, Agatha, and Safie were away. The old blind man would be alone. Since he could not see me, he probably would not be afraid of me. When the others came back, they would see that their father liked me. Maybe then, they would like me too. One morning the young people went to the village. I knew that now was my chance. I left the little wooden house, walked up to their door, and knocked. I was terribly afraid of what would happen next. De Lacey called, "Come in." I took a deep breath and opened the door. I told him that I was a traveler who needed rest, and asked if I could stay and talk to him. The old man kindly gave me a little food and told me to sit with him. We spent the day talking about many things. We agreed that a man's friends are more important than anything. I really believed that De Lacey's kind words meant that he had become my friend. I fell on my knees and held his hand, when the door opened suddenly. The horrible things that happened next are still painful for me to remember. The young people saw me, and Safie ran out of the door, screaming. Agatha turned white and fell to the ground. Felix jumped at me and pulled me away from his father. "Oh, God! What are you?" he shouted. "Father, I will save you from this horrible monster!" I fell to the floor as Felix began hitting me with a stick. I could have killed him easily, but I did not. I ran away from their house as fast as I could. I was unhappier than you can imagine.

I was alone in the world once again. I had no friends; I would never have any friends. My anger was terrible to see. I did not want love anymore; I wanted only revenge on the world that had hurt me. And I wanted to find you, Frankenstein. I promised myself that I would make you suffer.

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