CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

Emma had not realized how important Mr Knightley was in her life. Emma knew that she had, for many years, been the most important female to Mr Knightley, although she did not deserve it. She would fight with him, and often treated him very badly; nonetheless, he loved her, and watched over her from when she was young. Although she had many faults, she knew she was important to him, very important. Harriet Smith could not think that Mr Knightley loved only her. She could not. But, there was a chance that he could fall in love with Harriet. If Emma could be sure that Mr Knightley would never marry, she would be satisfied. Until his return, Emma decided she would not see Harriet. Therefore, she kindly wrote to Harriet, to ask that she not come visit Emma to avoid discussion of Mr Knightley. Harriet approved, and was grateful.

Soon after she sent the letter to Harriet, Emma had a visitor, Mrs Weston, who had just visited Jane Fairfax. The Westons, at first, felt uneasy about the visit, but Jane's anxiety was quite obvious. She could hardly speak. When Mrs Weston suggested a walk, Jane politely declined, but Mrs Weston again suggested a walk, and Jane finally agreed. Mrs Weston encouraged Jane to speak during their walk, and soon Jane overcame her embarrassment. She was grateful to Mr and Mrs Weston for their patient kindness.

"Dear Jane Fairfax suffered during the secret engagement for so many months," Mrs Weston explained to Emma, "She told me she had not had a calm moment since the engagement."

"I am afraid," returned Emma, "that I must have often made her suffer. Oh! Mrs Weston, I caused her such pain."

"Oh, my love, she understands that you did not know. She spoke of you and your kindness towards her when she was ill. She wants me to thank you for all your care."

Mrs Weston's news about Miss Fairfax only upset Emma; she felt guilty for her previous behaviour towards Jane Fairfax. Seeing Emma and Frank Churchill together so often must have hurt poor Jane Fairfax greatly. Emma realized that she could not have befriended Jane Fairfax. They never could have been all three together, without causing Jane terrible pain; and on Box Hill, poor Jane must have been in misery!

That evening, Emma was quite upset with herself, and the cold stormy rain only worsened her mood. Mr Woodhouse was uneasy with the terrible weather, and needed Emma to stay with him to be content. Emma thought of their first evening without Mrs Weston, the night of dear Mrs Weston's wedding. Emma and her father had tea together, but then Mr Knightley walked in. This memory disturbed Emma; she knew that if Harriet and Mr Knightley were to marry, he would no longer come for such visits. Emma would soon have no one to come for visitors. Mrs Weston would soon have a child, which would keep her busy. Frank Churchill would certainly not come to visit; he and Miss Fairfax would move away after the wedding. Mr Knightley would no longer come to visit in the evening!

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