At the theater, she disrupts the first act as she climbs over your knees toward her seat. When your doorbell rings on a Saturday night, long after your other guests have begun eating, you know she has arrived for dinner. At work, you don't expect her at your 9:00 A. M. meeting.

They are the latecomers, and it doesn't matter if they wear a watch or use an alarm clock. Lateness is their way of life.

Chronic lateness has spoiled friendships, and it's a habit that has caused people to lose their jobs. Why, then, are so many people late?

"Not arriving on time can be a form of avoidance," says Dr. Richard Kronsly, a psychiatrist at Lexington Medical Center in Massachusetts. "You're late for a party, or coming home from work, because you don't want to be there where you're supposed to be."

Other reasons for chronic lateness are more complicated. Dr. Kronsly suggests that some latecomers know that their lateness will cause anger, and this serves their deep need to be punished. Alternatively, some latecomers have a tendency to force someone to wait, which is a way of expressing anger or resentment.

As for those of us who wait, we can set limits as to how long we will stay before leaving. When appropriate, we can make our anger known. And though it is true that being prompt can be as compulsive as being late, Shakespeare advised this: "Better three hours too soon than a minute too late."