Chapter 30 Mr Rochester's story

1 'I am little better than a devil at this moment, and deserve no doubt the severest judgments of God. Gentlemen, my plan is broken up. What this lawyer and his witness say is true. The clergyman here says he has never heard of a Mrs Rochester at the Hall, but I suppose he has listened at some time or other to talk about the mysterious madwoman kept there under lock and key. I now inform you that she is my wife, sister of this brave-hearted person here, with his white face and trembling body. Bertha Mason is mad, and she came from a mad family, weak minded and violent. Her mother was both a madwoman and a heavy drinker—as I found out after I had married the daughter, because they were silent on family secrets before then. Bertha copied her parent in both ways.

2 'My father was to blame for this. I was not the eldest son. I had a brother once, older than I. My father was not a generous man, and could not bear the idea of dividing his property so as to leave me a fair share. All, he determined, should go to my brother. Yet he could not bear that a son of his should be a poor man. I must be provided for by a wealthy marriage. Mr Mason, a West Indies merchant, had been known to him for a long time. He had a son and a daughter, and my father learnt that he would give the daughter a fortune of thirty thousand pounds. That was enough for my father. When I left college, I was sent out to Jamaica, to marry a bride already chosen for me. My father said nothing about her money, but he told me that Miss Mason was the pride of Spanish Town for her beauty, and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, of Blanche Ingram's type. They showed her to me at parties, splendidly dressed. I seldom saw her alone, and had very little private conversation with her. All the men seemed to admire her and envy me. I was attracted, and being young and inexperienced, I thought that I loved her. Her relations encouraged me; rivals made me jealous; and a marriage was performed almost before I knew it.

3 'Later, the truth was made known to me. My wife's beauty turned to coarseness, and her weaknesses developed to their worst extent. Meanwhile my brother had died, and at the end of four years my father died also. I was rich now, and yet in happiness poorer than a slave.

4 'I brought my wife to England, and had a fearful voyage with such a creature on the ship. I hired Grace Poole, who had worked in a madhouse, to keep watch over her. She and Carter, the doctor, are the only two I have ever admitted to my confidence. Mrs Fairfax may have suspected something, but she could have had no exact knowledge of the facts. Grace has, on the whole, shown herself to be a good keeper, though owing to an occasional tendency to drinking, she has once or twice allowed her patient to escape.

5 'But I owe you no further explanation. Gentlemen, I invite you to come up to the house and visit Mrs Poole's patient, and my wife! This girl,' he continued, looking at me, 'knew nothing of the disgusting secret. She thought that all was fair and lawful. Come, all of you—follow!'

6 Still holding me fast, he left the church. The three gentlemen came after. At the front door of the Hall we found the carriage.

7 'Take it back to the coach-house,' said Mr Rochester. 'It will not be wanted today.'

8 As we entered, Mrs Fairfax, Adèle, and the servants advanced to greet us.

9 'Away with your congratulations!' cried the master. 'Who wants them? Not I! They are fifteen years too late.'

10 He passed on and went up the stairs to the third storey. The low, black door, opened by his key, admitted us to the room where Mason had lain wounded. He opened the inner door and we entered.

11 In a room without a window, there burnt a fire guarded by high, strong bars. A lamp hung from the roof by a chain. Grace Poole bent over the fire cooking something in a pot. In the deep shade, at the farthest end of the room, a figure ran backwards and forwards. What it was, whether beast or human being, one could not at first sight tell. It crept, seemingly, over the floor; it made strange animal-like noises; but it was covered with clothing, and a quantity of dark, greyish hair hid its face and head.

12 'Good morning, Mrs Poole,' said Mr Rochester. 'How is your patient today?'

13 'Moderate, sir,' replied Grace, lifting the boiling pot carefully off the fire.

14 A fierce cry suggested that this report was mistaken. The clothed animal rose, and stood upright.

15 'Ah, sir, she sees you!' exclaimed Grace. 'You'd better not stay. For God's sake, take care!'

16 The madwoman roared. She pushed her disordered hair back from her face and stared wildly at her visitors. I recognised those coarse features. Mrs Poole advanced.

17 'Keep out of the way,' said Mr Rochester. 'She has no knife now, I suppose, and I'm watching.'

18 'Take care!' cried Grace.

19 The three gentlemen moved back hastily. Mr Rochester pushed me behind him. The madwoman sprang and seized his throat fiercely and put her teeth to the side of his face. They struggled. She was a big woman, in height almost equalling her husband, and strong as well. He could have settled her with a well-directed blow, but he would not strike. At last he seized her arms, and tied her to a chair with some rope. The operation was performed with the fiercest screams from the madwoman. Mr Rochester then turned to the men who were watching, with a smile both bitter and despairing.

20 'That is my wife,' he said, 'and this is what I wished to have,' he added, laying his hand on my shoulder, 'this young girl who stands so calm and quiet. Look at the difference, then judge me if you can.'

21 We all left the room except Mr Rochester, who stayed behind for a moment to give some further order to Grace Poole. The lawyer addressed me as he went downstairs.

22 'You, madam,' he said, 'are cleared from all blame. Your uncle will be glad to hear it—if, indeed, he should still be living.'

23 'My uncle! Do you know him?'

24 'Mr Mason does. Mr Eyre has been the Madeira agent of his business for some years. When your uncle received your letter mentioning the coming marriage between yourself and Mr Rochester, Mr Mason happened to be staying with him. Mr Eyre told him the news, as he had learnt that Mr Mason knew a Mr Rochester. Mr Mason, astonished and troubled, made known to him the real state of affairs. Your uncle, who, I am sorry to say, is now very ill, and not likely to recover, could not hurry to England himself to save you from the trap into which you had fallen, but he begged Mr Mason to return here at once to try to prevent the false marriage, and he asked me to help Mr Mason. If I were not certain that your uncle will be dead before you could reach Madeira, I would advise you to go there with Mr Mason. As it is, I think you had better remain in England till you hear further, either from Mr Eyre himself or from me. Have we anything else to stay for?' he inquired of Mr Mason.

25 'No, no—let us be gone,' was the anxious reply, and without waiting to speak to Mr Rochester, they went out of the front door. The clergyman followed soon after.

26 I stood at the half-open door of my room, to which I had now returned. The house being cleared, I shut myself in, fastened the door, and began—not to weep, because I was still too calm for that—to take off the wedding dress, and replace it by the simple dress that I had worn the day before, as I thought, for the last time. I then sat down. I felt weak and tired. I leaned my arms on a table, and my head dropped on them. Till now, I had only heard, seen, moved, watched one event follow another. Now, I thought.

27 Jane Eyre, who had been an eager, happy woman—almost a bride—was a cold, lonely girl again. Her hopes were all dead. That bitter hour cannot be described: in truth, I came into deep waters, and the floods covered me.