Chapter 28 The torn veil

1 Our wedding was to take place quietly in a month's time. Meanwhile, in spite of Mr Rochester's opposition, I continued to work as Adèle's governess, and refused to spend any time with him except the usual after-dinner hour. I resisted, too, his desire to buy me jewels and rich clothes, which reminded me too greatly of my poverty. In this connection, I remembered what, in the hurry of events, I had forgotten—the letter of my uncle, John Eyre, to Mrs Reed, and his intention of adopting me and making me his heir.

2 'It would indeed be a relief,' I thought, 'if I had even a small yearly amount of money of my own. I will write to my uncle and tell him I am alive and going to be married.' And this I immediately did.

3 The month passed: its last hours had come. All preparations for the bridal day were completed. My boxes were packed, locked, and waiting the fixing on of the address cards, on which Mr Rochester had himself written the name, 'Mrs Rochester'. Immediately after the ceremony we were to leave for Europe.

4 I felt restless and excited. It was not only the hurry of preparation that made me feverish, nor the thought of the new life that was to begin tomorrow. A third cause influenced my mind more than they did.

5 My mind was troubled. Something had happened which I could not understand. No one knew of or had seen the event but myself. It had happened the night before, when Mr Rochester was absent from home on business. I waited now for his return, eager to receive from him a solution to the problem.

6 At last he came. I found him at supper.

7 'Take a seat and share my meal, Jane. This is almost the last meal you will eat at Thornfield Hall for a long time.'

8 I sat down near him, but told him I could not eat.

9 'Is it because you have the thought of the journey before you, Jane? What a bright spot of colour you have on each side of your face! And how strangely your eyes shine! Are you well?'

10 'I believe I am. I wish that the present hour would never end. Who knows what fate may come with the next?'

11 'You are too excited, Jane, and you are tired out. Give me your confidence: relieve your mind of whatever is troubling it.'

12 'Then, sir, listen. Last night, for some time after I went to bed, I could not sleep. A storm was rising, but beneath the noise it made, I seemed to hear another sound, like the wild cry of some dog in the distance. When I slept at last, it was to dream that Thornfield Hall was a ruin.'

13 'Is that all, Jane?'

14 'All the introduction, sir; the story is yet to come. On waking, a beam of light shone in my eyes. I thought it was daylight, but I was mistaken. It was only candlelight. The maid, I supposed, had come in. There was a fight on the table, and the door of the cupboard where, before going to bed, I had hung my wedding dress and veil, stood open. I heard a movement there. I asked, "What are you doing?" No one answered, but a form came out of the cupboard. It took the fight, held it up, and examined the clothes there. I called out again, and still it was silent. I had risen up from bed, and I bent forward. I was filled with astonishment, and then my blood ran cold. Mr Rochester, this was not a servant, it was not Mrs Fairfax, it was not—no, I am sure of it—it was not even that strange woman, Grace Poole.'

15 'It must have been one of them,' interrupted my master.

16 'No, sir.'

17 'Describe it, Jane.'

18 'It seemed, sir, a woman, tall, with thick dark hair hanging down her back. In a little while she picked up my veil and threw it over her own head. She looked in the mirror, and I saw the reflection of her features in it. It was a fearful sight—unnatural, wild and coarse. Then, sir, she removed the veil, tore it in two, and throwing the pieces on the floor, crushed them with her foot.'

19 'And afterwards?'

20 'The figure moved back to the door. Just at my bedside it stopped, held the candle close to my face, and put it out under my eyes. I was conscious of her face flaming over mine, and then I fainted: for the second time in my life I lost my senses from terror.'

21 'Who was with you when you recovered?'

22 'No one. It was day. I rose and bathed my head and face in water. Though weak, I was not ill. I have kept this secret. Now, sir, tell me who and what that woman was.'

23 'The invention of your excited brain, that is certain.'

24 'I wish I could believe you, sir. But when on rising I looked round the room, there, on the carpet, I saw the veil, torn from top to bottom in two halves!'

25 Mr Rochester made a movement of surprise.

26 'Thank God it was only the veil that was harmed! Now, Jane, I'll explain all about it. It was half dream, half reality. I have no doubt that a woman did enter your room. It must have been Grace Poole. In a state between waking and sleeping, you got a false idea of her appearance. The tearing of the veil was real, and it is like her. You will ask why I keep such a woman in my house: when we have been married a year, I will tell you. Are you satisfied?'

27 I considered. It appeared to be the only possible solution. I was not satisfied, but I tried to appear so, to please him.

28 'You must sleep in Adèle's room tonight,' said Mr Rochester. 'I would prefer that you did not sleep alone. Fasten the door on the inside. And now, Jane, no more gloomy thoughts.'

29 I did not sleep much. A feeling of unreality would not be dismissed from my mind.