What Follows Divorce

Following divorce, life for you and your children can be unnecessarily complicated by a variety of problems you simply haven't foreseen.

Yet once you understand how and why your life has changed after divorce, and what you can do about it, you can gain a fresh perspective and move in the direction of improving your life.

Richard Crawford was only six years old when his mother, a beautiful 32-year-old woman, first brought him to me. She claimed that Richard had "problems" adjusting to the divorce she's acquired only five months previously. But after several sessions, she tearfully confessed that bringing Richard to see me was only an excuse to get help for herself. "I felt shy at first about telling you the truth, but I simply have to get the whole thing off my mind. Since I divorced Clive about five months ago, my life's collapsed. I feel so depressed, lonely, rejected, afraid of the future!"

"And now you feel the divorce was a big mistake?" I asked.

"Yes. But I was the one who wanted the divorce, and now I feel so miserable and depressed. I guess I'm too mixed up to think in a clear way." She replied.

"It's very common for somebody to realize gradually that life after a divorce can be more hurtful, in so many unexpected ways, than the life they endured their former spouse. Right now things look pretty grim and hopeless. But you'll survive, and hopefully, start a new and better life for yourself and Richard."

You should not use Richard as an excuse not to be socially active. You've a right to build a new life for yourself, to change your style of living to suit your new circumstances. Your self-confidence can be built up again through happy, pleasant, rewarding social experiences with new friends, new hobbies, a new life style. Don't let guilt feeling stand in your way.