Problem Page

Dear Lifeline,

I shall be getting married in August. My mother wants me to have a white wedding in church, because I am the only daughter, and she wants me to have the kind of wedding that she had. I, on the other hand, should like to have a simple wedding and a small party afterwards for my immediate family and close friends. I don't want my parents to go to a lot of expense just for one day; I'd rather they spent the money on things that my husband and I will need, which will last us for many years. Do you agree with me that this is a reasonable point of view? Can you think of a way in which I might persuade my parents to think as I do?

Yours,

Money-Conscious

Dear Money-Conscious,

We agree that your point of view is reasonable; but reason isn't everything. Your parents clearly do not mind "going to a lot of expense", as you put it. They would mind more if you prevented them from doing so. There is, in fact, no reason why a white wedding in church should cost a lot of money. Such a wedding can be very simple, yet it can give you the sort of happy memories that your mother has of her own wedding day. We suggest you meet your mother halfway. Have a simple church wedding and a simple party afterwards. If it means so much to your mother, perhaps you owe it to her to do as she wishes. We are sure that you will not regret it.

Dear Lifeline,

I have known my girlfriend for six years. The other day, I asked her to marry me, certain that I knew what the answer would be. But she said she wanted to think about it. I shall be going on holiday soon, and I hoped she would come with me; but now she says she'd rather go on holiday with a friend of hers. Am I losing her?

Yours,

Deeply Worried

Dear Deeply Worried,

Perhaps you were too certain of your girlfriend. Six years is a long time. Perhaps you have been in each other's pockets for too long. Give yourselves a holiday from each other, and then ask her again on your return. We think you will find that she will then give you the answer that you want.