Needing and Wanting Are Different

"Mom, can I have some money?" Those are the words my mother used to hear all the time. In return, I heard, "Why don't you get a job? Not to make me happy, but so that you have your own money and gain a bit more responsibility." So last year I got a job with Montgomery Ward's photo studio, working about 25 hours a week. For $5 an hour, I was a telephone salesman, trying to persuade people to come in for a free photograph.

All this was during football season and I was on the team as a kicker. To do football and homework and my job at the same time became really hard. I was burning out, falling asleep at school, not able to concentrate. My first class was physics and I hated it. I'd just sit there with my hand on my cheek and my elbow on the desk, and start dozing. One day, the teacher asked my partner what I was doing and she said, "Oh, he's sleeping." The teacher came to the back of the class and stared at me. The whole class looked at me for about two minutes and laughed.

My third-period history teacher was really concerned. She was cool. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep in her class. She'd scream, "Wake up!" and slam her hand on my desk. I'd open my eyes for about two minutes, pay attention and go back to sleep. She asked me if I could handle school, football and work. I said, "Yeah. I'm doing OK so far." She said, "Why? Why all this?"

I told her it was for the things I need, when actually it was for the things I wanted. Needing and wanting are different. Needing something is like your only shoes have holes in them. But when a new pair of sneakers came out and I liked them, I'd get them. My parents didn't feel it was right, but they said, "It's your money, you learn to deal with it." Within two years I had bought 30 pairs. My parents would laugh. "You got your job, you got your money—but where's your money now?" They didn't realize how much my job was hurting my schoolwork.

My priorities were all screwed up. On a typical night I did about an hour of homework. A lot of times it was hard for me to make decisions: do I want to be at work or do I want to be at practice? Do I want to worry about what I'll have today or what I'll have in the future? Sometimes I felt there was no right choice. One week in the winter I had to work extra days, so I missed a basketball game and two practices. (I'm on that team, too.) When a substitution opportunity came at the next game, the coach looked at me and said, "OK, we're running 1-5", a new play they had developed during the practices I had missed. I told him I didn't know it, so he told me to sit back down. I felt really bad, because there was my chance to play and I couldn't.

I really did resent work. If I hadn't been so greedy, I could have been at practice. But I kept working, and the job did help me in some ways. When you have a lot of responsibilities, you have to learn how to balance everything. You just grow up faster. At home, your parents always say, "I pay the bills so while you're here you're under my rules." But now with my money I say, "No, no, no. You didn't pay for that, I did. That's mine."

Slowly, I've come to deal with managing money a lot better. At first, as soon as I had money, it was gone. Now it goes straight into my bank account. This year I decided not to work at all during football season. I have a lot more time to spend with other players after the game and feel more a part of the team. I've only fallen asleep in class once so far. I'm more confident and more involved in the classes. My marks are A's and B 's, a full grade better than this time last year. I'm hoping that will help me get into a better college. I don't go shopping as much. I look at all the sneakers in school and think, "I could have those" but I don't need them. Last year I thought that being mature meant doing everything. But I'm learning that part of growing up is limiting yourself, knowing how to decide what's important, and what isn't".