A Merry Christmas ... 

Another Serving?

A Merry Christmas to you all ... 

"Merry," as you may know, has two meanings: a) happy, and b) drunk. If you're like a large number of British people, then your Christmas will be an alcoholic, rather than a religious, occasion.

If you walk down Piccadilly or Oxford Street just before Christmas, you will see an incredible amount of money being spent on electronic games, bottles of wine, expensive clothes, CDs, cassettes, cameras, and a large number of luxury items. If you walk down the main street of several towns in the Third World just before Christmas, you won't see a large amount of money being spent on presents: in fact, you won't see a large amount of money being spent on anything.

80 % of all disease in the world is caused by bad water supply: for millions of people, the perfect Christmas present would be a tap in the village square which would give pure, clean, water.

Do we think of these people when we sit down to our Christmas dinner? Of course not—we're too busy thinking about the turkey, the roast potatoes, and the presents sitting under the Christmas tree. The whole idea of Christmas now is completely unchristian—I'm sure that Christ would be furious if he could see what sort of celebrations are being carried out in his name.

So I'm against Christmas—I agree with Scrooge: "It's all humbug." If we're going to continue with this wasteful, thoughtless ceremony, then let's be truthful about it, and call it "Stuff-Our-Faces Week," or "Stomach Week"—but let's get rid of the insincere pretence that Christmas is "the season of goodwill."

Not only for Children?

Recently, a rather sophisticated woman told me shyly that she saves up all her presents until Christmas morning and then sits up in bed and opens them, just like a child. She thought I would laugh at her and say how silly she was. But in fact I was absolutely delighted to meet someone who treats Christmas as I do.

Many people today have a very different attitude to Christmas. They think it's just a time when shopkeepers make a lot of money and everyone rushes round buying presents they don't want to give and food they don't want to eat. But have they grown so far away from their own childhood that they can't remember all the good things?

First of all, Christmas takes you out of the ordinary humdrum routine of life. For children, the fun begins weeks before when the decorations are put up, and excitement gradually mounts as December the 25th approaches.

Everyone seems much friendlier to each other than usual at Christmas-time. You can lean out of a car window when you're stopped at the traffic lights and say "Merry Christmas", and people will smile and respond. You probably wouldn't think of doing that at any other time of the year. Perhaps it's because most people are on holiday or because everyone knows that they are sharing a similar experience. Giving presents can be very satisfying, too, if you plan far enough in advance and really think of the right present for the right person.

Indeed, whatever shopkeepers gain out of Christmas, it is still a "holy day", the words from which "holiday" is derived, and it gives people time to pause and concentrate for a moment on non-commercial values.