Two Languages

Liz, a graduate at the University of Wales, was going to spend a year at the University of Massachusetts studying economics. She had been invited to stay with the Van Dyke family, who had been recommended by a friend. Alex, the eldest son, met her at the airport and drove her home, where Mrs. Van Dyke was waiting at the door.

"Welcome to America, Liz?"

They shook hands.

"How do you do, Mrs. Van Dyke?"

"Just call me 'Mary'," Mrs. Van Dyke said.

Liz looked round her. "Oh, what a lovely road!"

The road stretched in a straight line as far as the distant highway. It was lined with trees and all the houses were built of wood and painted white.

"Your front gardens haven't got any hedges or walls between them."

"We call them front yards over here, Liz! No, our front yards belong more to the street as a whole. We're more sociable than you are. We drop in on each other. You like to be more private."

"An Englishman's home is his castle? Isn't that right, Liz?"

"Well, yes and no. I'm afraid we're becoming more and more American!"

"Come on in!" Mrs. Van Dyke said. "I'll show you your room so you can wash up."

Alex laughed. "She doesn't mean 'do the dishes'. She means 'wash your hands'."

"I'll just get my luggage from the boot," said Liz. "Is it unlocked?"

Alex roared with laughter. "That's really great! Excuse me, Liz! I'm not correcting you. It's just that 'boot' seems so funny to us. We call it 'trunk', and we say 'baggage', not 'luggage'! Go on up with Ma. I'll get your suitcases."

Mary Van Dyke pointed to the door opposite Liz's room.

"That's the bathroom, and the shower is next door. Alex tells me that many English people would rather take a bath than a shower. I'm afraid our bathtub is very small ...  Well, now you know where everything is, I'll leave you in peace."

At that moment Alex arrived with Liz's two suitcases. "You look worried," he said. "What's the matter?"

"Well, your mother didn't tell me where the loo, I mean toilet, is."

"Did she tell you where the bathroom is?"

"Yes."

"That's one of the words we use for toilet. You can call it 'the toilet' if you prefer—or 'the WC'. We don't have bathrooms in the English style. Most of us prefer showers, and I must warn you, Liz, our showers are pretty powerful. They sting! I heard Ma say 'take a bath'. You say 'have a bath', don't you?"

"Yes, we have a bath in a bath!"

"Crazy language!" he said, dropping her suitcases in her room.

"The closets are all empty. Know what I mean?"

"Yes, cupboards!" Liz answered with a laugh. "I read somewhere not long ago," she went on, "that British English and American English would soon be two separate languages."

"Nonsense!" Alex replied. "In another ten years, you British will all be speaking American English. But I hope you don't change your accent!"