From my earliest memories of elementary school, I remember how the classes were made to compete. Mrs. Olsen's class was particularly good at marching to the lunch room. Because they were quieter and their lines were straighter, they were allowed to eat before our class.

This was the beginning of group identity, and along with it came rivalry, competition, and conflicts.

By high school, I had almost no individual identity left. I was an American and all other countries were enemies. I was a Hillcrest Hisky and all other high schools were enemies. I was a wrestler and all the other sports were for wimps. I was on the debate team and everyone else was dumb.

At my high school, there were cowboys, jocks, seminary students, nerds, acid rockers and so on. Everyone had a group; no one was an individual. Wait. I take that back. There were a few individuals, but they were completely outcast from social order.

Never in my life can I remember stronger feelings of hate than in high school. But we never called it hate. We called it loyalty.

If you are like me, you want to avoid teaching rivalry, conflict and prejudice to your children. Many homeschool families reject the public schools precisely to avoid the kind of "socialization" that leads to these problems. As adults, most of us are better at being an individual than we were in high school, but the influence of group identity continue to promote competition and prejudice in our world. How can we avoid teaching these unwanted attitudes to our children?

One possible strategy for stopping the negative influences of group identity would be: recognize and replace. Look for the prejudice in your life and replace it with charity. Treat every person as an individual and ignore the social classifications created by a group-dependent world.

A good friend and I once discovered our differing religious beliefs. He identified with a certain group and I with another. Because of our dependence on group identity, our conversation revolved around the beliefs of the groups. Our individual beliefs, which were quite similar, took a back seat while we discussed topics we knew little about. We defended our groups even when we did not understand or did not know the official group decision on many issues. The resulting rivalry has damaged our friendship ever since.