Anna Creal, 44, an office manager, and Stephen Creal, 55, a dentist, found their marriage flounder over Stephen's inability to keep his promises. "It happened so many times that Anna was no longer willing to hear my excuses," Stephen confesses. Adds Anna: "It made me feel like I wasn't important in the relationship, like I was at the end of the line."

They attended a marriage-education course, but the communication skills they learned took a lot of practice and discussion. After a while they felt that working on their marriage was all they were doing. To offset that feeling, they instituted a Thursday date night where discussion of anything serious is strictly forbidden. "We just grab something to eat or go to the movies and just enjoy being together with no pressure," explains Stephen.

While life still isn't perfect, their marriage is definitely better.

Experts say that most difficult marital situations can be salvaged—as long as both parties are willing. "It takes commitment, but it can and does happen," notes Diane Solle, director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education in Washington, D.C.

In the past generation, as divorces became more prevalent, people realized that they are not a panacea. Many who believed their ex-wives or ex-husbands were the source of their problems discovered they had the same problem with a new spouse. "Divorcees often just carry their problems from one relationship to another," says Howard Markman, author of Fighting for Your Marriage.

Increasingly the emphasis is on saving marriages and keeping relationships from developing irreparable breaches. If you feel your marriage may be heading toward a crisis, the following advice should help:

Cool Off. When emotions are raw, Lonnie Barbach, co-author of Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love, recommends therapy. "It's helpful to have a therapist's objective point of view because, typically, each person just sees what the other person is doing, not how he or she is contributing to the problem."

Therapy needn't take a big commitment of money and time. Many churches and community mental-health centers offer free counseling or support groups. And many therapists practice something called solution-oriented brief therapy, which focuses on problem solving and can take only a few sessions.