"After a few weeks, I urge people recovering from loss to get back into routine," says psychiatrist and Boston University professor Bessel A. Vanderkolk. "It's important to force yourself to concentrate on things other than your hurt." Consider these activities:

Join a support group. Once you've made the decision to "get on with life," you'll need someone to talk to—and the most effective kind of conversation can be with someone else who has undergone a similar ordeal Read. When you can focus after the initial shock, reading—especially self-help books—can offer inspiration as well as relaxation.

Keep a journal. Many find comfort in creating an ongoing record of their experiences. At best it can serve as a kind of self-therapy.

Plan events. The idea that there are things to look forward to reinforces that you are forging ahead into a fresh future. Schedule that trip you've been postponing.

Learn new skills. Take a course at a community college, or take up a new hobby or sport. You have a new life ahead; any new skill will complement it.

Reward yourself. During highly stressful times, even the simplest chores—getting up, showering, fixing something to eat—can seem daunting. Consider every accomplishment, no matter how small, a victory to be rewarded.

Exercise. Physical activity can be especially therapeutic. Therese Gump of Chicago felt confused and at a loss after her 21-year-old son committed suicide. A friend talked her into taking a jazz exercise class. "It's just mindless stretching and bouncing to music," Gump says, "but it made me feel better physically, and when you feel better physically you feel better mentally."

"Exercise gets you out of your head and your troubles," Vanderkolk explains, "and it allows you to experience your body with your two feet on the ground."