You think it's a good idea; she doesn't. You want to take action; she wants to wait. You want this; she wants that. You're absolutely sure you're right; she's even more sure she is.

If you and this co-worker don't reach a compromise soon, you'll both be too defensive and angry to reach one at all. The time to give a little, so you'll get a little, is NOW.

The window of opportunity for reaching compromises is a small one even between good friends, so sit back, take five or six deep breaths, and start communicating.

Start listening, as well as talking.

Compromise is "a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions," says the American Heritage Dictionary.

If you're trying to reach a compromise, a good first step is to define your goal and encourage the other person to do the same. Then share any information that might help you to reach a compromise.

A good second step is to listen carefully to the other person's point of view. Don't interrupt. Don't agree or disagree. This will not only ensure that you understand her point of view, but will also demonstrate that you're willing to listen to what she has to say.

Next, put aside any preconceived notions you have about the "right" way to accomplish your goals. Then force yourself to think of at least one other way to accomplish them that incorporates your and her best suggestions.

Don't think vertically, in other words: one-up-one-down, or I 'm-right-you 're-wrong. Think laterally instead; place her idea and yours on a straight line, side by side, and add more ideas as she and you come up with them.

You'll end up with TWO good ideas in the pot—yours and your co-worker's. And when two reasonable people are willing to compromise, they're likely to come up with a third way of accomplishing goals—one that satisfies both.